The other night I dreamed that I was back in my old hometown. It was a bittersweet dream. I was walking on the familiar road, looking at familiar landscape. I miss that feeling of familiarity. And I'm afraid that I would forget it all - all those memories of childhood. That's the thing with growing up, I guess. I remember when I waved my hand in goodbye to my aunt, in the airport, 8 years ago. Back then I didn't feel anything. No sorrows of leaving my country for good, my friends and my home. Not even excitements of seeing my mom again after 7 years. I was just going from Place A to Place B, nothing more. But now, when I look back, I wonder why I didn't cry, why I said 'bye' with a smiling face. How? Are all children like that or was it just me?
Yesterday, my mom called me cold. She said I'm icy cold. I wonder if that's true. On the outside, I guess I can be pretty icy sometimes. But in the inside, I'm not sure. Which one counts? I think I hide myself pretty well, I definitely do not want to show my real self to my mom. But the thing is, the way she said it, she sounded as if she didn't know how I turned out to be like that. Haha.
It should be pretty obvious.
I had a dream. Something I looked forward to literally every night. For practically 7 years. And then at the end of those 7 years, I realized that it was invalid. I realized that I had simply been dreaming. I think that matures a kid pretty fast. In a pessimistic way. LoL.
Well, here is my first post... I didn't want it to be all depressing... :( sniff.
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